I feel the same way you do, my mom is a J-dub, & my dad has never been one.
My mom, and us 4 kids, always were doing JW things... meetings, service, conventions, and my dad was basically on his own, in his own world... He was a hunter/ fisherman, belonged to a club, had friends, but there were two family world's.
Now, he is in his late 80s, my mom is a few years younger, I am not a JW anymore (left in 2012) and they need help.
My mom had to call..... she needed help, she even used her cell phone... Usually, she speaks to me in a "business like" tone, afraid of the boogeyman, but with more 'communication' she is becoming more relaxed.
We will see what the future holds, it is hard for me not to get mad and tell her off.... I was never DF'd. My husband, was DF'd for testifying for WT.
The WT is very evil for separating families, making them suspicious, preventing them from bonding, enjoying life. WT is a blackmailed.
I hope one day, the "curtain will be pulled open" and "the wall" will come down, and families will be families once more.